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What’s Your DBT Story?: Peggy

Thank you for sharing your DBT story Peggy! If you would like to share your story with DBT email Kristen, kristen@dialecticalliving.ca

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Before starting DBT I was an angry, negative person. I couldn’t even carry on a conversation with my husband without it turning into an argument. Although I managed to hide most of my anger from the outside world I was suffering inside. I was not happy, I worried what people thought about me, I worried about things that were probably unlikely to happen. I did not have any compassion for myself. I thought I was just a weirdo, a person who did not fit in with “the crowd”. The majority of my thoughts were negative ones, ones that just drove me further into self pity. I knew there was a better way. I was determined to live the rest of my life (I am 68) in peace and not hold on to this mental turmoil I had. For the person looking at my life from the outside everything looked fine and dandy, but inside I was struggling with being happy with me, myself and I.

I happened to run across YouTube video’s about DBT and that changed my life. I learned how to be kind and compassionate towards myself. I learned that not everything I thought was true and I learned not to believe everything I thought. I learned that it is ok to accept a situation and get through it but not have to agree with it. Sometimes we have to radically accept what we don’t necessarily like but know that it is the best decision for us. I learned that I am not weird, I am a person with valid feelings and emotions and deserve just as much respect as anyone else. I learned that I am a very kind and loving person. I learned that it is ok to feel scared, afraid and nervous These feelings are part of me and nothing to be ashamed of. I have learned how to bring down my emotions in “the moment” of an intense situation so I can respond appropriately. I have learned that the anger that caused me distress was not anger at all, it was the feeling of not being validated, ever!! Well, now I am in a good position to validate myself and I realize how my past, that I had no control over, played a big part in my being. Yes, I have learned all this and more from DBT.

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