My husband and I don’t go out much now that he’s been working from home, so I used DEAR MAN to ask him if we could get two days a week where we have quality time. Here is the “script” that I used to talk to him.

Describe – We don’t go out as often as we used to, we do regular things together, like eating and getting groceries, but we don’t have much quality time anymore.

Express – It makes me sad that we don’t have quality time, since I enjoy spending time with you. I miss going out.

Assert – We should go out twice a week to do something special.

Reinforce – I will be more accepting of you going out with your friends knowing that we get our two special days.

Stay Mindful – I didn’t need to use the broken record or ignore skills, since my husband was happy to have two days a week of quality time.

Appear Confident – I stayed calm, but had a confident tone of voice. I also avoided coming off as arrogant by reinforcing his positive reactions and showing that I was grateful for him being so understanding.

Negotiate – I did not need to negotiate.